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The Doll I Once Had

She was the prettiest doll I ever had,

Long hair and a sweet smile,

Innocent, beautiful, big blue eyes…

She wore the best attire among all the dolls I had ever seen.

Prettiest of them all!

But one day I saw she had scars on her.

She still looks attractive and beautiful

But I see a certain pain in her eyes,

She has those pink lips still but,

I see a certain bloodshot red mark on them.

She smiles but her smile, I feel, tries to deceive the world.

But not me!

I know her and she knows me

Her eyes don’t lie…

No Sir! Not to me.

I remember the time when I last kept her 'unharmed' in the cupboard.

And I remember the morning after- when I saw her lying on the cold floor outside.

"Ma!" I called out to my mother.

“Look! She looks hurt,

Someone harmed her,

There! Her legs were never that apart,

There were no bruises on her face,

Her body never had these scars!”

“No!” she exclaimed.

“You are mistaken; it’s just a figment of your imagination.”

She sounded so persuasive

That I kept my belief aside and took hers to be true:

 I cleaned my doll, made her wear another pretty dress and

Brushed her entangled hair to 'proper';

Kept her back in the cupboard and made sure she sleeps well.

Next day, I saw her lost and a bit more broken.

"Ma!" I called, “He hurts her, I saw!”

“No!” she said.

“Come out of your delusional dream.”

“He is your father, your brother, your uncle, your father’s friend, your cousin, your brother’s friend, your relation, your servant, or the stranger that loves you too well…

He won’t do this to the doll you hold so dear.

This does not happen, your mind is playing silly games,

Don’t watch those movies,

Don’t be with the wrong friends…

Who tell you stories and

You cook them in front of me.”

My mother told me this, while the child in me

Saw that her eyes knew

The ‘truth’ behind the scenes;

Yet she was quiet and did nothing to save my doll.

That night I kept my doll next to my pillow and slept.

In the morning, I was lost forever…

He took me for my doll!

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Dehradun, 248001 | INDIA

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